Tag Archives: clean time

Five Minutes at a Time

Me: “Okay, I’m not going to use today; period!”
In my head (which is always the louder voice): “Forget it, you know that you’re going to use, so what the hell are you doing?”
Me: “I’m not going to use today, that’s what I’m doing.”
My head: “Yeah, right.”

“I Hate This Disease”

I still don’t really know what to say. You see, M is one of my closest friends in NA. I have a private men’s group that meets at my house every two weeks, and for the first five years that we got together, M was one of the regulars. He had pulled out of the group about two years ago, though, and I hadn’t seen him nearly as much since then. But I have to tell you, my heart is aching by this point.

Without Parallel

It was sometime in the early 80’s. I was 21 years old; I had six months clean; I was separated from my 1st wife; and I was sleeping on my Sponsor’s couch. I was also working the steps; I was attending meetings; I was answering phones once a week for NA; and I was trying to change my life.

THE ROLLER COASTER OF PAIN

Transcribed from the El Cajon Fire 911 Emergency archives; 11:21 AM, June 30th, 2003. Operator #342: “This is 911, what is your emergency?” Caller: “It’s my wife.  She has stopped breathing!  Please send the paramedics right now, please!” Ten Minutes earlier, 11:11 AM. It’s so nice to have a Sunday off, I thought to myselfContinue reading “THE ROLLER COASTER OF PAIN”

Painful Lessons I Learned From My Father; And Forgiveness

I always thought my Father was a great guy. Fun, funny, and…of course, he was my dad. In fact, I thought I was the “bad” one. Then, after years of addiction, codependency, dysfunctional living, and then finally working the 12 steps; I found out that he wasn’t a very nice guy. He was an alcoholic, a narcissist,Continue reading “Painful Lessons I Learned From My Father; And Forgiveness”

One of my earliest memories

My family moved into this beautiful two story house, not far from the center of Guthrie Oklahoma when I was about four or five.  There was a large living space downstairs, along with a kitchen, a very large walk-in pantry, and a garage.  The bedrooms were upstairs, and my room was a small, oddly shaped,Continue reading “One of my earliest memories”