Author Archives: Dune

What if I Worry Less and Trust More?

I was at an art instillation the other day and there was a wall with stick-tab papers on it. The instillation was called, “To Do List”, and you were supposed to write something that you wanted ‘to do” on one of the note papers, and you could read what others wrote also. I wrote, “Worry less and trust more.”

Five Minutes at a Time

Me: “Okay, I’m not going to use today; period!”
In my head (which is always the louder voice): “Forget it, you know that you’re going to use, so what the hell are you doing?”
Me: “I’m not going to use today, that’s what I’m doing.”
My head: “Yeah, right.”

“I Hate This Disease”

I still don’t really know what to say. You see, M is one of my closest friends in NA. I have a private men’s group that meets at my house every two weeks, and for the first five years that we got together, M was one of the regulars. He had pulled out of the group about two years ago, though, and I hadn’t seen him nearly as much since then. But I have to tell you, my heart is aching by this point.

Without Parallel

It was sometime in the early 80’s. I was 21 years old; I had six months clean; I was separated from my 1st wife; and I was sleeping on my Sponsor’s couch. I was also working the steps; I was attending meetings; I was answering phones once a week for NA; and I was trying to change my life.

THE ROLLER COASTER OF PAIN

Transcribed from the El Cajon Fire 911 Emergency archives; 11:21 AM, June 30th, 2003. Operator #342: “This is 911, what is your emergency?” Caller: “It’s my wife.  She has stopped breathing!  Please send the paramedics right now, please!” Ten Minutes earlier, 11:11 AM. It’s so nice to have a Sunday off, I thought to myselfContinue reading “THE ROLLER COASTER OF PAIN”

Painful Lessons I Learned From My Father; And Forgiveness

I always thought my Father was a great guy. Fun, funny, and…of course, he was my dad. In fact, I thought I was the “bad” one. Then, after years of addiction, codependency, dysfunctional living, and then finally working the 12 steps; I found out that he wasn’t a very nice guy. He was an alcoholic, a narcissist,Continue reading “Painful Lessons I Learned From My Father; And Forgiveness”

One of my earliest memories

My family moved into this beautiful two story house, not far from the center of Guthrie Oklahoma when I was about four or five.  There was a large living space downstairs, along with a kitchen, a very large walk-in pantry, and a garage.  The bedrooms were upstairs, and my room was a small, oddly shaped,Continue reading “One of my earliest memories”